


Fallen Angel

by Navajo_Woman (NavajoLovesDestiel)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Dean, Cutting, Drug Use, Happy Ending, M/M, NSFW Art, Overdosing, Past Child Abuse, Smut, Top Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 13:20:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7534261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/Navajo_Woman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is the lead singer of the group Fallen Angel, along with Gabriel, Chuck and Crowley. Dean is a huge fan who wins a trip to stay with the group for two weeks. He and Cas fall for each other, but Dean has to go back home. They both suffer from broken hearts, but Cas takes it much harder and begins to self-destruct.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

Dean had a crush on the lead singer of his favorite group and had for years. Fallen Angel was dark and moody, gothy even, but Dean loved their stuff. That’s why he just kept up trying to win the contest that gave you two weeks with the group while they made their next album. He spent all his time listening to the radio, driving everyone around him nuts.

And when he won, he very nearly passed out.

He was so anxious boarding the plane. He really didn’t like flying but he was more anxious about meeting Castiel, the lead singer. He had mooned over the guy since he saw their first video, and now he was actually going to meet the guy.

Dean thought of himself as fairly nerdy. He wasn’t cool, he didn’t have any tattoos or piercings. He didn’t think he dressed very well, either. He did his best, but being a mechanic didn’t pay all that well and he just did what he could. He figured that Castiel would just look at him say ‘Hi’ or something and then ignore him for the rest of the week. But at least he would be able to say he met the guy and got his autograph. That would be good enough.

After he got his luggage, he was met at the airport by a man with a sign that said, “DEAN WINCHESTER’ on it, which was very cool. The guy took his luggage and led him to a limo. This was his first time in a limo and he was really smiling, looking around the interior. He gawked out the window as L. A. whizzed by.

The limo left downtown and began to climb up into the foothills surrounding the city. Dean was completely shocked when the limo pulled into the driveway of a mansion, paused at the high wrought iron gates and the driver pushed a button on a box. Dean thought he was being taken to a hotel.

He leaned forward and spoke to the driver. “Are you sure you have the right place? I thought I was going to a hotel.”

The driver turned and smiled at him. “The group thought you’d have a nicer time if you stayed here, with them.”

Dean gulped. He’d be _living_ with the group? With Castiel? Dean got a knot in his stomach.

The driver turned back and said something to a disembodied voice coming from the box. The gates swung open and the limo continued up a long driveway. When the house came into view. Dean was completely flabbergasted.

The home was a split level masterpiece of glass. It seemed to be all glass walls and it was amazing.

Dean got out, accompanied by the chauffer, who was carrying Dean’s suitcases. They walked to the door and the chauffer just opened it and indicated that Dean should go in.

Dean walked into the foyer with his heart in his throat. The place was lavish. There were fresh flowers in bowls everywhere on expensive tables. A man walked up to him and introduced himself as, “Josh. I’m sort of the butler slash cook slash handler. Come on, the guys are in the living room.”

Dean took a deep breath and followed Josh down a hall and into a huge room on the right. It was all glass walls and modern furniture. Scattered about were the four members of the group. Castiel sat in a huge chair with one leg over the arm. He was wearing skin tight leather pants and no shirt. Dean took another deep breath, trying to calm himself.

Chuck Shurley, the lead guitarist, jumped up and walked to Dean with his hand out. “Hi! You’re the dude who won the contest. Glad to meet a fan.”

Dean smiled and shook the guy’s hand. “Uh yeah, I’m Dean, Dean Winchester. And this is a real thrill.”

Gabriel (no last name), the bass player, walked up to him too. “Nice to meet you, Dean.” Dean smiled and thanked him. He was followed by Fergus Crowley, the drummer. He crooned in his Scottish accented voice, “Yeah. Nice.”

That just left Castiel. He slowly unwound himself from the chair and strolled over. Dean’s stomach did a lurch. The singer walked up to Dean and got really close. He looked Dean up and down and said quietly, “Aren’t you a cutie. Greetings, and you can call me Cas.”

Dean stuttered, “Uh… uh Hi…” Cas grinned. “Ah good, a fan.” He reached up and lightly brushed his fingers along Dean’s cheek. Dean got red and felt his ears burning.

“Give the kid a break, Cas. At least let him get settled before you try to jump his bones,” Gabriel laughed.

Dean looked around frantically, trying to see if anyone was laughing. No one was. He felt very uncomfortable.

“Want a drink, Dean?” Chuck was smiling at him.

“UH, not right now, thanks. I think I’d like to see my room and unpack.”

Gabriel yelled, “Josh!” Josh appeared in an instant.

“Take Dean to his bedroom please.”

Josh grinned and said, “Come on, Dean.”

Dean followed Josh up a sweeping set of stairs and down a hall. Dean counted doors so he could find his way back. When he got to five, Josh opened a door.

The room was amazing. It was huge, with a gigantic bed against one wall. There were tables and beautiful chairs, a desk and a huge dresser.

“Your bathroom is through there,” Josh indicated a door to the right.

“I’ve got my own bathroom?” Dean was filled with a feeling of inadequacy. He’s never even seen a room like this, let alone stayed in one.

Josh grinned. “All the bedrooms have their own bathrooms. Classy, huh?”

Dean just nodded. He spotted his suitcases near the dresser. “Thanks, Josh.”

Josh clapped him on the shoulder and left. Dean sank onto the bed, trying to calm down. He had no idea if Gabriel was kidding or not with the remark about Cas jumping his bones. Surely Cas could have anyone he wanted, he surely wouldn’t want a hayseed like Dean.

Dean unpacked, and changed his clothes, He sucked in a huge breath and left the room, deciding to take them up on that drink.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean found his way back to the living room without difficulty. When he entered, he saw Chuck and Gabriel drinking some kind of mixed drinks, and Crowley had a huge, fruity-looking thing with a paper umbrella in it. Cas was taking pulls from a bottle of tequila.

“There he is,” shouted Chuck. “What ya want to drink?’

Dean smiled and said he’d just like a beer. Chuck disappeared for a minute and returned with a long neck. Dean sat down and took a long pull. The guys were arguing the merits of some video game and Cas was just sitting there, smiling at them but not participating.

Dean snuck peeks at Cas. He was slender but had a really nice chest. His leather pants hung low on his hips and his sharp hip bones were visible. Dean quickly looked away. He sure as hell didn’t need to get a boner now. He drank his beer and listened to the game argument heat up.

Suddenly Cas stood up and just said quietly, “Enough.” The guys quit immediately. “I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”

Josh was called and told to order a bunch of pizza. They asked Dean what he liked and he just said everything but anchovies.

For all the tequila Cas had consumed, he didn’t seem drunk at all. Josh brought everyone else another drink, including a beer for Dean. The pizzas arrived quickly and everyone dug in. They were fantastic, the best Dean had ever had.

When everyone had eaten their fill, Cas walked over to an ornate cabinet, opened the double doors and pulled out a huge bong. He also brought out a small inlaid box. He sat down, opened the box and filled the bong bowl with some weed. He struck up a lighter and took a deep hit, holding the smoke for what seems like forever before blowing it out. Clouds of pot smoke obscured his face for a moment.

Gabriel got up and walked over to Cas, taking the bong from him and walking back to his chair. Dean took a seat between him and Cas. Gabriel took a huge hit as well, and passed the bong to Dean along with the lighter. Dean was not averse to getting high, and he took a hit. He managed to take a toke without coughing which pleased him. He passed the bong back to Gabriel who passed it along to Chuck.

It wasn’t long before the mood of the room was very mellow. Chuck went and got an acoustic guitar and began to play. Cas started humming and then began to sing in his velvety, gravelly voice that was just so unique.

He was singing Closer, recorded by Nine Inch Nails. It was one of Dean’s favorites.

 

**You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you**

**You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you**

**Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I’ve got no soul to sell**

**Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself**

**I want to fuck you like an animal**

**I want to feel you from the inside**

**I want to fuck you like an animal**

**My whole existence is flawed**

**You get me closer to god**

**You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings**

**You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything**

**Help me tear down my reason, help me its' your sex I can smell**

**Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else**

**I want to fuck you like an animal**

**I want to feel you from the inside**

**I want to fuck you like an animal**

**My whole existence is flawed**

**You get me closer to god**

**Through every forest, above the trees**

**Within my stomach, scraped off my knees**

**I drink the honey inside your hive**

**You are the reason I stay alive**

Cas closed his eyes and began to sway very seductively. It was like watching one of their videos but a lot sexier. Cas ran his hands over his groin and cupped his balls. One of his hands was playing with his nipples.

Dean had a raging erection but he didn’t even care. It was mesmerizing, and Cas had an erection as well. Dean stared at it. Cas was extremely well-endowed and Dean began to imagine being fucked by it.

The song ended and no one said a word. Dean shook his head slightly to erase the image in his brain. He switched to willing his boner down.

The bong made another round and Dean was trashed. He was really tired, there was a hell of a time difference between L.A. and Lawrence, Kansas after all.

He got up and said he was going to bed. Cas stared at him with a raised eyebrow but didn’t say anything. The other guys told him good night.

 

Dean found his way to his bedroom. He stripped off his clothes and went into the bathroom. There was a hug bathtub and a free-standing shower. He opted for the shower. He let the water reach a good temperature and stepped in, letting the hot water cascade over him with a sigh.

He reached down and grabbed his cock. He looked around and settled on some conditioner, pouring some in his hand. He let his hand slip up and down until he was hard. Sighing, he leisurely played with himself. He lifted his balls and squeezed them, groaning. He ran his hand up and down his length, twisting every once in a while and running his thumb over the head. He stuck a thumbnail into the slit and groaned again. His mind went to Cas and his dance, how he rubbed his hand over his cock and how big it looked in those pants. He came with a moan and painted the shower wall.

Dried off, he was exhausted and fell into the bed naked. He was asleep in moments.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Dean woke in the morning completely disoriented for a couple of minutes, then he remembered where he was. He lay in the bed, stretching and lightly running his hand up and down his morning wood. But having to piss drove him from the bed.

He washed his hands and face and brushed his teeth. He fixed his hair and decided to forgo shaving.

After he was dressed, he wandered downstairs. The place seems completely empty. His footsteps echoed off the glass. He decided to go look for the kitchen, hoping to find something to tide him over until someone got up.

He found the kitchen with difficulty. The house is like a maze of glass and aluminum. When he did, he whistled softly. The kitchen was amazing, all shiny professional appliances.  He wandered to the fridge and looked in.

There is surprisingly little food in it. Dean figured that they much eat out a lot. He finally decided to have a bagel. He found a toaster and located utensils. Soon enough he was chewing the bagel and he wandered back to the living room. He looked at the sound system, which must of cost thousands of dollars. There were literally hundreds of albums and CDs sitting near it. Dean thumbed through them and was surprised by the variety of music.

 

“See anything you like?” The sound of Cas’ deep voice startled the crap out of Dean, who jerked and spun around. There stood Cas, hair looking like he’d just been fucked senseless and dressed in boxers. Just boxers.

Dean smiled and said, “Actually I see a lot I like. You’ve got an incredible collection of music here.’”

Cas walked up very close to Dean.  He smiled and said softly, “I see a lot I like too.” Dean felt his breath on his cheek. It gave him goosebumps. Cas turned and looked at the CDs.

“Any requests?”

Dean just said it was Cas’ choice. He was trying to collect himself. He stared at Cas’ ass in the boxers. It was so round and firm under the clinging material.

Trying to change the subject, Dean asked what Cas was doing up. Cas turned back to face him and smiled.

“I don’t need much sleep. Maybe four hours a night does me.”

Dean couldn’t think of anything to say to that so he just grunted. Cas grinned broadly.

“You’re really nervous around me. You need to relax, Dean. I’m just a guy like you.”

Dean was thunderstruck at that statement. “Oh hell no, Cas. You’re nothing like me. You are a very handsome, rich, smooth as fuck guy with an incredible talent. I’m just a nobody who won a fucking contest.”

Cas’ smile disappeared. “You are not a nobody, Dean. Never say that. First of all, you are gorgeous. Fucking beautiful. It’s obvious that you work with your hands and that’s something I always wanted to do. I suspect you’re a lot smarter than you let people see.”

Dean was blown away by Cas’ outburst. ‘He thinks I’m beautiful?’ Dean just blushed and looked down. Was Cas coming on to him? Dean was flustered and confused.

Cas grinned, touched Dean’s red cheek and said, “You’re adorable.” Then he turned and left the room, leaving a very anxious Dean behind.

 

Dean went back to his room and laid down. He was confused by Cas. The guy seemed to be coming on to him, but Dean couldn’t believe that was it. He was probably just being friendly in an odd way. No way was Castiel Novak of Fallen Angel coming on to Dean Winchester, lowly mechanic.

 

 

Dean lazed around for another hour, then went back downstairs. Everyone was up and greeted him warmly.

He was just in time for lunch. They all went to a dining room, where stuff to make sandwiches was laid out. They all made themselves some awesome sandwiches and had beer.

Suddenly Gabriel said, “Hey! I know what we need to do. We need to take Dean out for a night on the town. This is his first time in L.A. after all. We need to show him how to party.”

Everyone else chimed in their approval. Dean just looked around, smiling.

“It’s a done deal then,” Chuck said, “We’ll head out about nine, Dean. Hope you’re ready.”

Dean nodded, noticing the kind of leering way Cas was looking at him. His stomach flipped again.

 

Dean spent the afternoon listening to the group work on songs for their new album. Dean was entranced. Everything was so good. He still could hardly believe he was actually there.

The afternoon became evening and they broke to eat. This time it was Mexican. Delivered to the door, which amazed Dean. There weren’t any Mexican restaurants in Lawrence that delivered. The food was amazing. Dean began to worry he was going to put on weight while he was here.

The evening wore on. Cas broke out the bong again and everyone was feeling very mellow when it was time to go out. Cas made a call and moments later they were all piling into the limo. Dean was pleasantly buzzed and pretty excited about going out.

Cas slid in to the limo and sat next to Dean. He let his leg relax and it leaned against Dean’s leg. Dean felt a thrill go through him and settle in his groin. He looked at Cas’ leg and then at Cas, who was smiling at him.

They went to a large club. There was a line of people waiting to get in, but they just breezed right in, to the screams of a lot of the crowd. They went to a private room in the back, where they could hear the music but no one could see them. They all got drinks, and Dean stuck with beer.

Cas swayed to the music. He was sitting next to Dean again and their legs were touching. After a couple of rounds, Cas put his hand on Dean’s thigh. It felt like fire to Dean. Dean sucked in a breath and Cas smiled.

Then Cas slid out and reached a hand out to Dean. “Dance with me.” It was an order more than a question. Dean slid out and Cas took his hand and led him out to the dance floor.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Cas pulled Dean onto the dance floor. The song was Pillow Talk by Zayn Malik. Cas pulled Dean close and put his arms around Dean’s waist. Their hips were grinding together. Dean put his arms around Cas’ neck. Dean whispered into Cas’ ear, “Aren’t you nervous about being seen dancing with a guy?”

Cas laughed. “I think it’s pretty well known that I’m bi, and that I really prefer guys. Besides, I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks.”

Cas began to sing in Dean’s ear, a low, deep voice that sent chills down Dean and settled in his cock.

 

**Climb on board**

**We'll go slow and high tempo**

**Light and dark**

**Hold me hard and mellow**

**I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure**

**Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us**

**Bodies together**

**I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always**

**I'd love to wake up next to you**

**I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always**

**I'd love to wake up next to you**

**So we'll piss off the neighbors**

**In the place that feels the tears**

**The place to lose your fears**

**Yeah, reckless behavior**

**A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw**

**Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day**

**Fucking in, fighting on**

**It's our paradise and it's our war zone**

**It's our paradise and it's our war zone**

**Pillow talk**

**My enemy, my ally**

**Prisoners**

**Then we're free, it's a thriller**

**I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure**

**Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us**

**Bodies together**

**I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always**

**I'd love to wake up next to you**

**So we'll piss off the neighbors**

**In the place that feels the tears**

**The place to lose your fears**

**Yeah, reckless behavior**

**A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw**

**Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day**

**Fucking in, fighting on**

**It's our paradise and it's our war zone**

**It's our paradise and it's our war zone**

**Paradise, paradise, paradise, paradise**

**War zone, war zone, war zone, war zone**

**Paradise, paradise, paradise, paradise**

**War zone, war zone, war zone, war zone**

**So we'll piss off the neighbors**

**In the place that feels the tears**

**The place to lose your fears**

**Yeah, reckless behavior**

**A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw**

**Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day**

**Fucking in, fighting on**

**It's our paradise and it's our war zone**

**It's our paradise and it's our war zone**

They swayed together, hips grinding together. Dean was hard and he could feel that Cas was too. It was so intimate that Dean couldn’t breathe. He wanted to run away and he wanted it to never end. When the song ended, Cas kissed him. He ground his lips onto Dean’s, and Dean opened his mouth involuntarily. Cas held him tightly and slipped his tongue into Dean’s mouth, very slowly and sweetly. Dean kissed him back. Everything just melted away.

Them the next song started up and it was loud and fast. Cas broke the kiss and led Dean back to the booth. Dean slid in first, remembering to breathe. Cas slid in after him and moved close. He put his hand back on Dean’s thigh and gave it a squeeze.

The night went on. Everyone was drunk except for Dean and Cas. Cas seemed to have an incredible tolerance for liquor. Finally, Cas said he was tired and it was time to go. No one questioned, they just got up and began to leave. Cas took Dean’s hand and pulled him up from the booth. He held Dean’s hand as they walked back to the limo.

 

Back at the mansion, everyone went their separate ways except for Cas and Dean, who were sitting in the living room. Then Cas got down on his knees and crawled over to where Dean was sitting. He got on his knees between Dean’s thighs, and put his hands on either side of Dean’s face, pulling him down for a hot, messy kiss. Dean melted into it. They kissed until Dean had to break for breath. As soon as he took a deep breath, Cas’ lips were back on him. Cas’ tongue probed his mouth and he sucked in Dean’s bottom lip.

Dean was so hard it hurt. He knew Cas was too. Cas’ hands slid down Dean’s chest, heading for his cock. Dean pulled away and said, “Stop, Cas.”

Cas pulled his face back and looked confused. “You don’t want me?”

Dean sighed. “Of course I want you, Cas. But This is just another conquest for you. It’s more than that to me. I am not going home with a broken heart.”

Dean stood up and went to his room, leaving a shocked Cas kneeling on the floor.

 

Dean leaned against his bedroom door and fought back tears. He liked Cas. Liked him as a real person, not as a singer or a star. He never expected things to go like this and he was sobbing now. How the hell did this even happen? How could he face Cas tomorrow? Maybe he should just go home.

He was exhausted so he decided to go to bed and think things out in the morning. He stripped and fell into the bed. His sleep was filled with uneasy dreams.

 

Dean woke with a start from a dream he couldn’t remember. He was sweaty and had a terrible headache. He struggled up and took a long shower. He fought the urge to masturbate. He just wanted something for the headache and some food.

Dressed, he went to the kitchen. Josh was there so Dean asked him for something for his headache and Josh brought him some ibuprophen. He took them with some orange juice and asked about something to eat. Josh told him to sit down and he fixed some scrambled eggs. He sat with Dean while he ate them.

“Cas getting to you?” Josh asked quietly. Dean just nodded. “Well,” Josh said, “if it’s any consolation I know he really likes you.”

Dean just sighed. “No. It’s no consolation at all Josh.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

  
Dean sipped a cup of coffee. Finally, he said to Josh, “I’m thinking of just going home.”

Josh touched his shoulder. “Don’t do that, Dean. You haven’t even gotten to see them recording. They’re scheduled for the day after tomorrow. Stick around.”

Dean sighed again, He guessed he could do that. Depending on how Cas was going to act, of course. He might be really mad at Dean for turning him down.

 

 

Dean hung around the living room reading a book. One by one, the group straggled in, all except for Cas. They all looked hung over. They each said hello to Dean. Chuck grabbed a guitar and began to play. Gabriel grabbed his bass and played with him. Dean really liked what they were playing and told then so.

Chuck grinned and said it was a new song they were working on for the CD.

Just then, Cas walked in the room. He said, “Hi guys, Dean.” He walked over to Chuck and told him to start again. Chuck did, with Gabriel accompanying him. Crowley began to keep time by hitting furniture.

Cas started to sing. The song was beautiful and sad. Dean listened, transfixed. When it was over, Dean said, “That was beautiful.” Cas smiled at him. Dean figured Cas wasn’t mad. He was really relieved.

They guys sang a few more, changing things up just a little and then singing again. When they were all satisfied, they’d move on to another song. It was fascinating to watch.

 

Dinner time rolled around and this time, they ate Chinese. As usual, everything was delicious.

Then they all started to drink. Josh carried drinks to each one and gave Dean his beer. Cas broke out the bong and everyone got trashed. Dean was feeling especially mellow, just happy that Cas wasn’t mad and hadn’t kicked him out. He was also glad he decided to stay.

They listened to a variety of music, the lights low. Dean was on the floor, leaning up against an upholstered chair. He drifted in and out of the music. Finally, he yawned.

He got up. “Gonna go to bed. See you guys tomorrow.” He went to his room. He stripped and sat on the bed. His mind went to Cas. Cas was amazing. He was talented and drop-dead gorgeous. Dean wished he could have sex with the man and feel nothing. But he knew himself. He’s been crushing on Cas for so many years, and now the reality was so much greater, so much nicer than he’d ever imagined. He knew he could fall for Cas very easily. And fall hard.

 

There was a knock on the door. Dean scrambled and found a pair of sleep pants he had brought just in case he needed them. He pulled the on and opened the door. There stood Cas.

Cas was quick to say, “I just want to talk. Just talk, I promise.” He held his hands up, palms up. Dean almost laughed, but he stepped aside and let Cas in.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed, Cas took a chair and drug it over to sit in front of him.

“So talk, Cas. What do you want?

Cas looked at him for a moment, then said, “Did you mean what you said? About going home with a broken heart?”

Dean laughed ruefully.  “Yeah, I meant it Cas.”

Cas looked bewildered. “But you don’t even really know me. I mean we sort of just met. How could you have feelings for me?”

Dean looked Cas in his beautiful eyes. “Cas, I’ve had a crush on you for years. Then I get here and you became real. You are so beautiful and sexy and I just know I’d fall hard for you.” Dean looked down, embarrassed.

Cas didn’t speak for a moment. Then he said quietly, “But I really like you.”

Dean snorted. “You don’t even know me Cas. I could have some terrible habits. Like, maybe I suck in bed. Maybe I cry when I have sex. Maybe I have a tiny dick Maybe, fuck, I don’t know, maybe I fart in my sleep.”

Cas was laughing. “God you’re cute. I highly doubt you suck in bed. You sure kiss like you know your way around. If you cry when you have sex, I’d just wipe the tears away. I already know you have a very nice cock; I’ve seen it hard in your pants. And farting is hardly a deal breaker.”

Dean was getting frustrated. “God damn it, Cas. I’m only here for ten more days. In eleven days, I’ll have my head under the hood of some car in Kansas. You’ll be here, doing whatever the fuck it is you do. This is hopeless.”

Cas sighed. “Nothing is hopeless unless you give up hope, Dean. I want to get to know you better. I want you to know me better. I don’t fucking know why. I just do.”

Cas suddenly smiled brightly. “Dean, what’s your favorite color? Your favorite song? Uh… your favorite movie?”

Dean grinned. “Okay Cas, I’ll play. Favorite color is blue, the blue your eyes are. Song? Again yours. When the Angels Fell. My favorite movie is Dead Man. Now, you tell me yours.”

Cas answered, “My favorite color is green. Just like your eyes. Favorite song? God Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. My movie is Magnolia.”

Dean was surprised by the music choice and said so.

Cas said, “Well, I like all kinds of music and that one really touches me.”

Dean smiled at him. “I really liked Magnolia too.”

Cas laughed. “See? We’re getting to know each other better.”

They ended up talking for a couple of hours and Dean discovered they had a lot in common.

Finally, Dean was yawning. Cas got up and said, “Go to bed Dean. Sleep well.”

Dean stood up and very lightly kissed Cas.

Cas turned and left. Dean was still amazed as he drifted off to sleep.

 


	6. Chapter 6

The next day was amazing. They all packed up and went to the recording studio. Dean was fascinated by the electronics and how it all worked. He got to sit next to the sound technician.  He could see everything through the glass window.

Cas looked up at him and winked. Dean blushed red and the tech laughed.

They were working on one song. Even though it sounded great to Dean, Cas was not happy with the results. The group discussed changing a few chords and Cas sang it with a slightly difference cadence. Dean could hear the resulting difference and was very impressed with how well these guys knew their stuff.

When they finally got the song recorded the way they liked it, they took a break. Cas walked straight up to Dean and kissed him. When he got over his shock, Dean kissed back. Chuck yelled for them to get a room and they broke, laughing.

Cas whispered in Dean’s ear, “I’d love to get you in a room…”  Dean got goosebumps.

 

The day wore on. They managed to get one more song recorded after a disagreement about the sound. Dean watched Cas argue passionately about it. He loved seeing Cas so passionate about his work. It was so sexy. Dean was beginning to weaken on the idea of letting Cas fuck him. He thought about it way too much. Cas was so sweet and sexy that Dean was beginning to think he should just give in.

At least he would be able to take that memory home with him.

 

They broke for dinner. There was a restaurant right down the street that they walked to. Getting a booth, Cas slid next to Dean, pressing his leg against Dean and putting his arm around Dean’s shoulders. Dean’s heart was pounding in his chest. He glanced over at Cas and Cas was staring at him with a smile.

Dean reached out and put his hand on Cas’ thigh and Cas raised his eyebrows and broke into a huge grin.

When they were done eating, Cas was getting ready to slide out when he turned his head and kissed Dean on the temple. He whispered, “Wait till I get you home.” Dean blushed and looked down. Cas smiled and said, “Just so fucking adorable.”

 

Back at the studio, they worked out another song but couldn’t agree on some of the chords and the rhythm. They decided to break for the night and go home. Dean was having a little trouble breathing, thinking about what Cas said to him earlier.

 

On the way back in the limo, Cas kissed Dean’s ear and blew into it. Dean shivered and Cas smiled. Dean knew he was in trouble. He knew he’d give in. He was excited and scared and mad at himself all at the same time. But mostly, if he was honest with himself, he was excited.

 

When they got inside, Cas grabbed Dean by the hand. He said, “Going to bed, see you girls in the morning.” They laughed and Gabriel called out, “Have fun!”

Cas led Dean to his own bedroom. Dean just gawked around. There were posters of groups as well as paintings on every wall. The bed was huge and was covered with a blanket in the gay pride colors. It was a beautiful room and he said so.

Cas just pulled Dean close and kissed him. It was slow and passionate. Cas ran his tongue over Dean’s bottom lip and Dean opened for his tongue. Cas slid it in slowly and played with Dean’s tongue. Cas just held him close with his arms around Dean’s waist. Dean put his arms around Cas’ neck and pulled him even closer. Their hips touched and Dean moaned into Cas’ mouth.

Cas was taking his time, slowly exploring Dean’s mouth with his tongue and then sucking Dean’s bottom lip into his mouth. It was definitely the best kiss Dean had ever gotten. At last, Cas broke away.

“I’m so glad you decided to give me a chance, Dean. I’ve been feeling like my balls were going to explode for days, just being around you.”

Dean laughed, “You sure know how to sweet talk a guy.”

Cas chuckled. “Really, Dean, I want you so bad, it hurts.”

Dean kissed Cas. They began to grind against one another. Dean was so hard he thought he would just bust his zipper, and the feeling of Cas’ very large cock rubbing on him, even though clothes, was almost overwhelming.

Cas stepped back and pulled Dean’s shirt over his head and tossed it aside. He pulled his own off and threw it. Then he ran his hands lightly over Dean’s chest. He paused long enough to pinch each of Dean’s nipples, pulling a groan out of Dean. He kissed the base of Dean’s throat and sucked a mark there. Dean was clinging to Cas’ hips.

Cas ran his lips and tongue over Dean’s collarbones and then kissed him again. Dean felt weak in the knees. He couldn’t stop moaning.

Cas looked down and unbuttoned Dean’s jeans. He very slowly pulled down the zipper. Dean held his breath. Cas ran his hand along the waistband of the jeans and then very slowly pulled them, along with Dean’s boxers, down to his knees.

Cas smiled. “Very nice, baby. Very nice.”

He backed Dean up to the edge of the bed and Dean sat. Cas kneeled down and pulled off Dean’s shoes and socks. He pulled Dean’s pants and boxers down to his feet and Dean lifted his feet so Cas could pull them off. Dean laid back, watching Cas.

Cas unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper. Dean watched his every move while Cas smiled at him. Cas toed out of his shoes, and then he pulled his pants down very slowly. He wasn’t wearing any underwear, he seldom did.

When His pants slid past his cock, it bounced out. Dean took a deep breath. “Damn Cas, you’re really hung.” Cas just smiled. He pulled the pants down and off. Then he climbed over Dean.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Cas crawled up Dean and began to kiss him with passion. Their tongues clashed and Cas forced his tongue deeply into Dean’s mouth. Cas’ hands roamed over Dean’s chest and it felt so good, so _right_ , Dean almost felt like crying. He chuckled internally, remembering telling Cas, ‘maybe I cry during sex.’

Dean was running his hands up and down Cas’ back. He was so smooth and soft… Dean’s head was spinning. Cas adjusted and their cocks rubbed together, punching a moan out of both of them. Cas was at his nipples, biting and sucking. Dean arched his back into it.

“Fuck, Cas…”

Cas lifted his head and smiled at Dean. “You taste so good… wanna taste more.”

Cas ran his tongue down a path on Dean’s belly, and followed the trail of fuzz that led down. He paused a second, looking at Dean’s throbbing, leaking cock. The he grabbed in a firm hand and put his mouth around just the tip of Dean’s cock. Dean couldn’t breathe, he just lay there gasping.

Cas’ mouth was so warm and wet… Dean wanted more. Cas licked over the head, sticking the tip of his tongue into the sensitive slit. Dean groaned. The Cas sucked the entire head into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. He sucked in his cheeks and ran down the length, pressing the flat of his tongue against the shaft as he did.

Dean was moaning out, “Oh fuck, Cas… oh god… Cas…”

Cas held his mouth around Dean’s cock, letting it hit the back of his throat. He didn’t move for a few moments, just tasting and inhaling Dean’s musky aroma. Dean grabbed some of Cas’ hair in a desperate fist but he didn’t try to push his head or anything. He just needed something to hold on. His other hand was clutching Cas’ arm.

Cas slid his mouth back up, slowly. Dean was making sounds that urged Cas on, his own cock aching. He sucked on the head again, but Dean suddenly said, “Cas… stop. Please stop.”

Cas popped off with an audible sound and looked at Dean.

“If you keep it up, I’m gonna cum. I don’t want to. I want you inside me. Please, fuck me Cas.”

 

Dean spread his legs. Cas just kept looking into his eyes, but he slid one hand down between them and found Dean’s tight anus. He rubbed his finger around it, never breaking his eye contact with Dean, who looked back at him with wide eyes.

Cas pulled his hand away, making Dean whine with need. Cas got up and walked to the bedside table, coming back with lube and a condom. He got between Dean’s legs and pushed them further apart and up. Dean lifted his legs to give Cas full access to him.

Cas poured lube onto his hand. He slicked up his fingers and, kneeling between Dean’s outstretched legs, he pressed one finger to the tight hole. Dean whined. Cas very gently pushed his finger into Dean and Dean arched his back again.

“Oh Cas… it feels so good…. Fuck…”

Cas lifted his head and said, “Jesus fuck, Dean, you’re so tight. You need to relax. Shit, how long has it been since anyone was in here?”

Dean sighed. “Uh.. quite a while.”

Cas repeated, “How long, Dean?”

Dean closed his eyes. “It’s been about eighteen months.”

Cas exclaimed, “Eighteen months? No one has fucked you in a year and a half? What the fuck? Are they crazy or just stupid in Kansas?”

Dean just said quietly, “I haven’t met anyone I liked.”

Cas moved his finger around and found the bundle of nerves he was looking for. He rubbed it and Dean cried out.

Cas just said, “We’ll have to talk about that.” He pushed and pulled the finger and then added one, listening to Dean groan in pleasure.

Cas worked the fingers both in and out, and back and forth, trying to open Dean. Dean was still too tight to fuck at this point.

Cas pulled his fingers out and Dean hissed at the sudden emptiness. Cas put his head down and ran his tongue around Dean’s hole and Dean groaned even louder. “Oh fuck Cas…”

Cas rimmed Dean for a few more rotations, then stuck the tip of his tongue into the still-tight hole. Dean gasped. Cas tongued in and out, a little farther each time. Dean resisted the urge to shove his ass into Cas’ face with difficulty.

Cas could feel Dean’s asshole begin to relax more. He shoved his tongue deeper. He loved the sounds he could get Dean to make, how aroused he was. How needy. He pushed a finger in beside his tongue and Dean practically came off the bed. Cas held him down with his other hand pressed just above Dean’s cock.

 

Gradually, Cas withdrew his tongue and replaced it with three fingers. Dean clenched on them at first but then he let go. Cas played them in and out, hitting Dean’s prostate every once in a while. Finally, he was beginning to think Dean might be ready for him. Cas knew he was big and he didn’t want to hurt Dean. So thinking it through, he pushed four fingers in.

Dean took them well, so Cas decided Dean was ready. He pulled his fingers out and looked at Dean’s fluttering hole. He grabbed the condom pack and tore it open with his teeth. He rolled it on and lubed it up really well.

Dean moaned out, “Fuck me, Cas. Please fuck me.”

 

Cas said in Dean’s ear, “I’m not going to fuck you, Dean.” Dean’s eyes opened in surprise. Cas said softly, “I want to make love to you. And I’ve never said that before in my life, baby.”

Dean just looked at him, his eyes gone soft. Cas reached down and grabbed his cock and put it to Dean’s needy hole. Dean whined and Cas pushed in. Dean was so tight and hot inside, Cas had to close his eyes. He pushed in slowly, but firmly, until he was fully in. He paused, letting Dean adjust. Then he pulled slowly back and pushed back in again.

Cas fucked Dean slowly and tenderly. Dean was moaning and then he pleaded. “Harder, Cas. Please, faster.” Cas moved up, bending Dean in half and pushed in harder. Dean groaned and pushed back.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Dean thrust up every time Cas thrust into him. The sound of them slapping together filled the room, along with the sounds they were making, groans and moans and gasps and even whimpers. They were each lost in the feeling of their joining, of where Cas was in Dean.

Dean could feel his orgasm rising in his balls. The heat spread into his belly and his mind got dark, just feeling and no thought left at all. It spread until he whimpered, “Cas, I’m coming…” He shot strings of warm cum all over Cas’ chest and it dripped onto his own belly.

Cas groaned at the fluttering and clenching of Dean’s anus around his cock. Dean was already so fucking tight, and this was like being caught in a vise. He doubted he could pull out if he even wanted to. And he so didn’t want to. He jerked and arched back his head, arching his back and sinking deeply into Dean. He held there, and came so hard his eyes only saw black for a moment.

Cas dropped his head down and kissed Dean roughly. Their lips crashed together, all teeth and hard lips. Cas dropped his head onto Dean’s chest and tried to catch his breath. His cock was softening and it slipped out.

Dean lay there and felt cum leak out of him and run down the crack of his ass. He wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him down to lay fully on him, smearing the cum all over both of their chests.

“Jesus Christ, Cas…”

Cas lifted his head and smiled at Dean. “My sentiments exactly. That… was amazing, baby.”

Dean felt a warmth spread throughout his chest at the endearment.

Cas slid over and lay down beside Dean. “We’re an unholy mess,” he said, laughing. Dean laughed too. They were sticky and covered in cum. Not to mention the cum leaking out of his ass.

Cas jumped up and went into his bathroom. He returned shortly with a warm, wet cloth and cleaned off Dean’s chest. Dean took it from him and wiped his ass, grinning. Cas took the cloth and threw it in a corner.

Dean chuckled and said, “Dude, you are messy.” Cas smiled and nodded. “I’ll pick it up later. That’s asking a little too much of poor Josh.”

They lay, entangled with legs and arms, just looking at one another. Cas ran his hand in small circles on Dean’s back and Dean had his hand on Cas’ chest, rubbing a small circle with his thumb.

“I’m so glad you changed your mind.” Cas looked into Dean’s eyes.

“Fuck, so am I,” Dean grinned.

Cas kissed him tenderly and Dean just melted into it.

Cas said, “Tell me, Dean, why no sex for so long?”

Dean sighed and looked away. Cas put a hand on Dean’s cheek and turned his face back.

“Well, I was with a guy for a couple of years. I thought I was in love with him. Now, I doubt I really was. But we broke up and I just wasn’t interested. Until now.”

Cas smiled at him. “I’m sorry you got hurt, but I’m really happy that you’re unattached.”

Dean turned serious. “Honestly, Cas, why me? You could have any man in the fucking free world.”

Cas looked at him just as seriously. “Are you kidding me? Jesus, Dean, you are beautiful, You’re smart and funny and fucking adorable. You’ve got those freckles and those amazing bow legs that wrap around me perfectly… and you blush. God I love that.”

Dean just shook his head.

Cas continued, “Look, I admit I’ve fucked around. A lot. But I never made a connection with any of them. They were just… well… just holes for me to fuck.  But you, you’re different, Dean. I mean it. I meant it when I said I wanted to make love to you. And that I’d never said that before, ever.”

Dean kissed him, afraid to say anything. He was feeling very torn. He really liked Cas, maybe even had deeper feelings for him. But he still had to leave. He had to go home in like eight days. Now he _knew_ he’d leave with a broken heart. He pushed that thought aside.

 

Dean yawned. “Sleepy?” Cas asked him. Dean just said, “Um hum.”

Cas turned him over on his side and spooned up against him and wrapped one arm around him, pulling him close. He grabbed a device off the bedside table, clicked a switch and the lights went out.

“Neat,” Dean chuckled, already half asleep.

 

Dean woke up and Cas was wrapped around him. He had his arm around Dean’s waist and then with his hand against Dean’s chest. He had one leg thrown over Dean’s thigh. Dean could feel Cas’ cock in his butt crack. But he had to piss so badly, he had to get out and up.

Slowly, he moved Cas’ leg off of him, and then he put Cas’ arm back. He snuck out of bed and went into the bathroom, silently closing the door behind him so he could turn on the light. He took a nice, long piss and then looked at himself in the mirror. He definitely looked like he had been thoroughly fucked. Smiling, he used some of Cas’ mouthwash, turned off the light and went back into the bedroom.

And there laid Cas, covers pulled back, smiling, he had a huge erection, a bottle of lube and a condom next to him. He had the covers pulled back for Dean to slide in.

Laughing, Dean laid down. “I tried not to wake you…” Cas just pulled him in for a kiss. Cas’ hands roamed over his body and he was hard again within minutes. Cas used lube and had the condom on quickly. Cas kissed him, and laying partially on top of him, used one hand to pinch his nipples and the other hand had three fingers in his ass.

Cas rolled him over on his side, spooned against him and pushed the head of his cock against Dean’s hole. Dean was moaning and begging Cas to take him. Cas lifted Dean’s top leg and pushed into him, punching out a groan.

Dean was looser than before, mostly from the thorough fucking Cas had given him just a few hours before. Cas reached over him and stroked his cock while he fucked in and out. They both came simultaneously with groans.

They went back to sleep without cleaning up, just wrapped in each other’s arms.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Dean woke up first but just laid there, looking at Cas. He was just so beautiful and sexy and Dean couldn’t believe how lucky he was, even though he knew he was headed for pain.

“Anyone ever told you that watching a person sleeping is creepy?” Cas voice was sleepy.

Dean laughed. “Well, creepy or not, I like to look at you.”

Cas lifted his head to look at the clock. “Ugh. We need to get up, It’ll be time to go to the studio before long. I wish we could just stay here and cuddle and fuck all day.”

Dean kissed him. “Plenty of time for that later.”

They struggled up. Cas wanted them to shower together, but Dean knew that would lead to them being way late, so he just said, “Later.” He pulled on his pants and walked to his room. After a quick shower and some tooth brushing, he felt human again.

He made his way downstairs. The rest of the band was up and eating, so Dean grabbed himself some eggs and toast. A few minutes later, Cas walked in. He walked straight to Dean and grabbed his face for a passionate kiss. The other guys hooted and banged the table.

Dean was blushing and Cas grinned at him.

They ate, then got in the limo and drove to the studio. Cas sat pressed against Dean, rubbing a hand over his thigh and occasionally kissing his temple. Dean felt warm all over.

 

The recording session went better today. Cas was more relaxed, which amused Dean. They got three songs recorded without any problems. In between each one, Cas would come out and kiss Dean. The tech got a real kick out of that.

“He’s really smitten.”

Dean blushed and said, “Really dude? Smitten? Who the hell even says that anymore?”

The tech laughed and added, “He’s never brought anyone to a recording session before, let alone kissed on anyone the way he’s kissing on you.”

That made Dean think.

 

They had problems with the last song. Even Dean could hear the problems. They struggled for almost two hours and then gave up. It was time to go home. Cas came out with a frown on his face, clearly irritated, but when he saw Dean his face lit up and he grabbed Dean up from the chair and kissed him deeply.  When the broke, he just grabbed Dean’s hand and led him to the limo.

Cas snuggled up against Dean and sighed. He kept his hands on Dean all the way back to the mansion. As soon as they got inside, Cas led Dean back to the bedroom.

When they got inside, Cas grabbed Dean but Dean said, “Wait. Wait a minute, Cas. I need to talk to you.”

Cas looked curious but went and sat on the bed. Dean followed and sat next to him. Dean took one of Cas’ hands.

“Cas, you realize I gotta leave in a week, right?”

Cas’ face fell. “Oh no, you can’t leave! I want you to stay here with me.”

Dean felt like he’s been kicked in the stomach. “Babe, I _can’t_ stay here. I’ve got a house, a job, family there. I mean, I have a life there. I don’t want to leave you… but…but I have to.”

Cas looked like he was about to cry.  “But I don’t want you to.” Cas looked down at his lap. “I need you, Dean. I mean… I think I love you.”

Dean looked at Cas, shocked. “Cas, you can’t love me. We’ve only known each other for a week.”

Cas said quietly, “Then you don’t love me?”

Dean swallowed. He really felt something for Cas, and it could easily be love. But he just thought this was all too damn quick. “I really care about you, Cas. Hell, I don’t know if it is love or what. But I have to go home. I mean, could you leave here and live in Lawrence with me? I don’t think so.”

Cas just looked forlornly at his lap. Dean felt like he was hurting Cas, and he never wanted to do that. He cursed himself for last night. He _knew_ it was mistake and he was too damn weak to resist.

Finally, Dean took Cas’ face in his cupped hand and turned the man’s face to look at him. “Cas, we’ve still got a week. Let’s just forget about this for now. Please. Let’s just enjoy each other, okay?” Dean’s voice has a pleading tone in it.

Cas sighs deeply and says, “Yeah, Okay.”

 

Their discarded clothes lay in little piles like puddles around the room. They laid nude in the bed. Dean’s legs in the air with his hands supporting them. Cas had his face buried in Dean’s ass, licking his hole while his hand was running up and down Dean’s very hard cock. Dean was moaning and pushing his hips up in rhythm to Cas’ jacking him.

Cas had been eating him out so long that Dean’s mind was completely gone. He was nothing but feelings and sounds. He tried to beg Cas to fuck him but he had trouble forming the words. He managed to grunt out, “Fuck…. Me……. Please…”

Cas lifted his head, spit covering his chin. “In a bit.” And he went back to work.

Dean groaned and suddenly, he knew he was going to cum. He tried to tell Cas but again, he couldn’t think of the words. He just began to spurt cum all over Cas’ hand and his own chest. All that came out of him was a sort of, “Uuuuhhhhggggg” sound.

Cas lifted his head, smiling. “ _Now_ I’ll fuck you.”

Dean growled, “Bastard.” Cas laughed as he rolled on a condom and lubed it up.

Cas slapped Dean on the thigh and said, “Hands and knees.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

Dean rolled over, shoving his ass in the air. The air hit it and it was so wet from Cas’ mouth, it felt cold and Dean shivered.

Cas got behind him and grabbed his hips tightly. He put the head of his cock to Dean’s hole and rubbed it around, producing a deep growl out of Dean. Cas laughed again and said, “So needy.’

Dean thrust back trying to get Cas’ cock in him. Cas pulled back, but then he slid in. Dean moaned.

Cas slid all the way in, and the position made him go deep. Dean gasped at Cas’ size. He was by far the largest Dean had ever been with and the burn took a few minutes to settle down. But in reality, Dean didn’t even care.

Cas gave him a few moments to adjust but then he was just slamming into Dean with a fevered pace. Dean was meeting every thrust and then Cas began to pull his hips back against his thrusts and Dean was just gone. His cock was twitching and getting hard again.

Cas leaned over and kissed Dean’s spine, muttering, “That’s it baby. Take it. So big, so deep for my baby…”

Dean was moaning Cas’ name over and over. He sunk his face down into the pillow, further raising his ass to Cas’ onslaught. The random thought passed through his mind that he probably wouldn’t be able to sit down tomorrow.

Cas jammed in and just stopped. He held there, not moving until Dean was whimpering. Then Cas stated up again. He repeated this a few times, until at last, when he was paused in Dean, Dean groaned and came. Cas began his pounding again and came moments later.

When they were cleaned up and laying with Dean’s head on Cas’ shoulder, Dean asked, “Where did you pick that little trick up? It sort of drove me nuts.”

He could hear the smile in Cas’ answer. “I made it up, just for you.”

Dean sighed contentedly.

 

 

The week passed entirely too quickly for them. The group managed to get several more songs recorded and Dean thought this was going to be their best CD ever.

He and Cas continued to have sex whenever possible and for as long as possible.

One morning, Dean decided to blow Cas. Cas was laying back and sleepy. He spread his legs for Dean, who got down between then. He began to kiss down Cas’ thigh when he saw the silvery, thin scars that cress-crossed Cas’ thighs. On one thigh, the word “why’ was carved in.

Dean lifted his head. “Cas? You cut?’

Cas sighed and said, “I used to. I quit a while back, but sometimes I really want to again.”

Dean felt a real twinge of sympathy. Cas had to carry a lot of pain around for him to do that.

He went on and blew Cas, making Cas yell his name at the end.

 

Later, cuddled up, Dean asked Cas about the cutting.

“I had a messy childhood. And I really don’t want to talk about it. Cutting helped. It still does sometimes.”

Dean sighed. “I really don’t want you to hurt yourself any more, Cas.”

Cas just sighed again.

 

It was the night before Dean was leaving. He got out of the shower and walked into Cas’ bedroom, Cas was sitting on the bed.

“Dean stay. You can’t go. Please…”

Dean felt tears begin in his eyes. “I just can’t, Cas, I want to, but… I have obligations. Family. I can’t just abandon my life.”

Cas jumped up, pain on his face and hot tears falling. He yelled, “Then just fucking go! You don’t love me. If you did you would stay. Go!”

Dean tried to say something but Cas just yelled, “GO!”. Dean gathered up his clothes and went to his own bedroom. He sat on the bed and sobbed.

He cursed himself for giving in, for loving Cas but feeling torn, for everything. He _knew_ this was going to happen. Why was he so stupid, so fucking weak? Now not only was his heart broken, but he had broken Cas’ heart as well. He wished he’d never even come here.

He fell into a troubled sleep.

 

His flight left at five in the afternoon. Dean just stayed in his room until it was almost time to go. He walked out of his room and into the living room, seeing if anyone was here he could say good bye to.

What he saw was Cas, laying back in a chair. His legs were spread wide, his pants were open and there was a guy kneeling in front of him, sucking his cock. Cas; eyes were closed. Dean stared at the scene, and then turned to leave. He heard Cas’ yell, “Bye Dean.”

He ran to the limo and got in. He cried all the way to the airport.

 

He arrived home. His beloved Impala was safe in long term parking. He sighed deeply, got in and drove home. He felt like the entire weight of the world on his shoulders. He’d managed not to cry in the airport or on the plane, but he felt like he was trying to hold back a flood with a sponge. He just wanted to get home and crawl into bed.

 

As soon as he walked in, there was a text message signal on his phone. He put down his bags and opened it. The text was from Cas.

**Dean, I’m sorry. I was hurt and angry and I just wanted to hurt you. Please forgive me. I miss you so much already. Please I’m sorry**

Dean just sighed and turned off his phone. He went to bed and cried all night.

 

When he got up in the morning, there was a voice mail. He listened to Cas, crying and saying how sorry he was and begging Dean to forgive him. Dean just deleted the message.

At work, everyone was excited to hear all the details of his trip. He told them about the recording sessions and then just said he wanted to get to work. His heart was so heavy, so painful, he had trouble breathing and he didn’t want to talk.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Three months went by. Dean kept thinking he’s feel better but he never did. He isolated himself, moped and still cried sometimes. He had gotten two more messages from Cas, each one more apologetic and frantic than the last. He hadn’t answered any of them.

Then the new CD came out. People were raving about it, saying it was their best work ever. Dean didn’t buy it or listen to it.

Then he was reading a magazine and there was an article about a certain song on the CD. There were questions about who the mystery man was that Cas was singing about, and going on at length about a certain song dedicated to his ‘Kansas man.” Dean went straight out and bought the CD.

There it was, a song dedicated to him Cas was singing alone and it was acoustic. It was totally different from anything he’d ever done before.

The song was from an old musical. It was called ‘The Man Who Got Away.”

**The night is bitter**

**The stars have lost their glitter**

**The winds grow colder**

**And suddenly you're older**

**And all because of the man that got away.**

**No more his eager call**

**The writing's on the wall**

**The dreams you dreamed have all**

**gone astray.**

**The man that won you**

**Has gone off and undone you.**

**That great beginning**

**Has seen the final inning.**

**Don't know what happened. It's all a crazy game**

**No more that all time thrill**

**For you've been through the mill**

**And never a new love will**

**be the same.**

**The road gets rougher**

**It's lonelier and tougher.**

**With hope you burn up**

**Tomorrow he may turn up**

**There's just no let up the live-long night and day.**

**Ever since this world began**

**There is nothing sadder than**

**A one-man man looking for**

**The man that got away...**

**The man that got away.**

Dean sobbed. He didn’t know what to do. He thought about calling Cas but he just couldn’t.

 

 

Cas was at rock bottom. He was snorting cocaine like it was nasal spray and putting back the tequila every day. He was usually drunk and high on stage. The guys were at their wits end. Cas had been going steadily downhill ever since Dean left, but it got worse when Dean hadn’t responded to his texts.

Cas’ dealer was following the tour. He was a slimy little man named Marv. Marv wore sandals with socks, cargo shorts that were always dirty and a Hawaiian shirt. He has an endless supply of coke for Cas and no matter how hard the guys try to chase him off, he always came back and Cas always lets him backstage.

The guys huddled together on several occasions trying to decide what the hell to do. Cas was still performing and doing a great job. They tried to talk to him but that got exactly nowhere. They had come to expect to find Cas doing lines in the dressing room before a show.

It was very telling that he steadfastly refused to sing The Man Who Got Away in a concert, no matter how many fans yelled for it.

Gabe wanted to call Dean, but Chuck and Crowley were adamant about not doing that. First of all, they didn’t even know if Dean would care anymore, and second, they figured Cas would blow a gasket it he found out. So they just let things lay.

 

They were in concert in Denver. Cas had been hitting it harder than usual, but he still seemed able to perform.

They were doing their fourth song of the set when Chuck looked at Cas and saw that his nose was bleeding. Chuck walked over to Cas during the instrumental part and whispered, “Cas, you’re bleeding.”

Cas wiped his hand across his nose and it came back bloody. He just stared at it for a few moments. Then his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed.

There was pandemonium in the stands. People were screaming.

Cas began to seize. Chuck was the first one to him. He turned Cas on his side and Crowley put a drumstick in between his teeth. Gabe was screaming for someone to call 911.

 

They paced the ER waiting room like savage animals. Cas had been rushed in, completely unconscious. At least he had stopped seizing.

At last a Doctor came out to talk to them. He said that Cas was lucky to be alive, with the amount of drugs and alcohol in his system. He had OD’ed and had alcohol poisoning. He was going to be in the hospital for a few days. He couldn’t say exactly how long. Cas was malnourished as well.

Chuck called their manager and told him they were going to have to cancel the next few concerts and maybe the entire tour. He held the phone away from his ear while the manager yelled at him.

Then Gabe said he was calling Dean. When Chuck pointed out that is was three in the morning, all Gabe said was, “Good. Then maybe he’ll answer his fucking phone.” But before he called Dean, he bought a plane ticket for him from Lawrence to Denver.

 

 

Dean was sleeping fitfully, He rarely ever slept well anymore. When his phone rang, he fumbled for it, looking at the clock.

“Yeah?’ He sounded mostly asleep.

“Dean? It’s Gabe. Uh, Cas is in the hospital. He almost died.”

Dean sat straight up in the bed and turned the lamp on. “What? Gabe what happened?”

Gabe sighed. “He’s been on a real destructive streak ever since you left. Drugs and alcohol. He OD’ed on stage tonight. He really almost died. Scared the hell out of us.”

Dean just ran his hand through his hair. His heart was pounding in his chest.

Gabe just said, “Dean he needs you. If you have any feeling for him at all, you’ll come. There is a plane ticket waiting for you at the airport. We’re in Denver so it isn’t a long flight.”

Dean said, “Of course I’ll come. Let me call the airport and get flight information and I’ll call you back. Stay with him Gabe, please, until I get there.”

Gabe assured him that none of them were leaving Cas’ bedside.

 

Dean was on a plane by seven in the morning. He had called his job and told them he needed personal time, called his brother and explained what was going on, shoved some clothes in a bag and he was on his way.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Gabe picked up Dean from the airport. He looked so tired, Dean asked him how he was.

“I’m beat, man, touring, this thing with Cas, it really takes it out of a guy.”

Dean asked Gabe to tell him about Cas.

Gabe sighed, “The first few weeks after you left were rough on him, but he was functioning. I mean we finished the CD and got the tour dates. He was depressed but he was coping. Or so we thought. At the first city on the tour, this slimy cocksucker showed up, looking for Cas. His name is Marv Metatron and he was Cas’ coke dealer.”

Gabe drove in and out of traffic smoothly, only glancing at Dean from time to time.

“That’s when things started to go to hell. At first, Cas was just doing a line or two. He still drank but he was fine on stage. But he started using more and we got scared. We tried to get him to stop, even suggested rehab. He went nuts, told us he’s quit the group for good if we tried that. We tried to get him to call you, but he said you’d never talk to him again and it was pointless.”

Dean felt a terrible twinge of guilt and pain. He should have answered Cas’ texts, should have talked to him on the phone. If he just hadn’t been so fucking hurt, so fucking stubborn.

Gabe looked at him. “Dude, don’t blame yourself. Cas did something pretty raunchy to you, I get it. And it’s not your fault his coping skills suck. He had a really bad childhood and he just never really learned to deal with pain.”

Dean asked, “How long have you known Cas?”

Gabe smiled a sad smile. “I’ve known Cas since the fifth grade. He was a skinny kid, always getting picked on. That’s how I met him. A couple of guys were getting ready to beat him up and I stopped them. He was miserable. His folks used him as punching bag, sometimes they just forgot to feed him for a couple of days. He’s come to my place, my mom would feed him. It was a mess.”

Dean winced at the story,

Gabe went on. “He filled out a little in high school. Got really gothy. We started a band with Chuck. Didn’t meet Crowley until later. Anyway, he got caught swapping spit with a guy up in his room and his folks kicked him out. He spent his senior year living with us. It’s just been hard for him.”

“And by the way, he’s been cutting again.”

They pulled up in front of the hospital. Gabe let Dean out and went to park his car. Dean waited by the entrance and then Gabe walked him to Cas’ room. The door was shut.

“The other guys went home to get some sleep. They’ll be back later.”

Dean turned to Gabe. “Are you going in with me?’

Gabe shook his head, “Nah. You need to do this on your own, brother. If you need me, I’ll be in the waiting room.” With that, he turned and walked down the hall.

Dean stood at the door, collecting himself. He had no idea how Cas would react to seeing him.

 

 

He turned the doorknob and went in. Cas was asleep. He looked so pale and his eyes were so sunken in his head, it scared the crap out of Dean. Dean walked up to the bed and said softly, “Cas?’

Cas opened his eyes and looked shocked.

“Dean? Is that really you? Oh fuck now I’m having hallucinations.”

Dean smiled. “No, it’s really me, Cas.”

Cas blinked. “Dean? You’re here? How… how did you get here?

“Gabe called me. I came as soon as I heard.”

Cas started to cry. “Dean, oh fuck, Dean, I’m so sorry! Please, you’ve got to forgive me. I’m so sorry…”

Dean leaned over and kissed Cas lightly… “Shh, baby. I forgive you. Please don’t cry. I forgive you. It’s all in the past.”

Cas’ hand clutched at Dean’s arm. “Oh I’m just sorry, I love you so much.”

Dean kissed him again. “I love you too, Cas.”

Cas looked up at him. “Will you lie down with me? Please?”

Dean slipped out of his shoes and laid his jacket on a chair. He slipped into the bed and laid down beside Cas, taking him into his arms. Cas sighed and put his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“You love me? You really do?’

Dean laughed, “Of course I love you. I always have. I was just being bull-headed.”

Cas sighed and relaxed against Dean. He was asleep in no time. Dean fell asleep shortly after that.

 

A nurse woke them up. She brought a tray for Cas, and offered to get one for Dean. Before Dean could say anything, Cas said, “Yes. Please do that. Thanks.”

Dean went to lift the metal cover that was over the plate, but Cas grabbed his hand. Dean looked at Cas, and Cas grabbed his face and kissed him. It was hard and messy, lips grinding against each other. But Dean opened his mouth for Cas’ tongue and then it was just perfect. Dean sighed in contentment as Cas kissed him just as if the past three months had never even happened.

Dean broke away, “Babe, I am _not_ having sex with you in this hospital bed.”

Cas pretended to pout.

The nurse brought in a tray for Dean and they ate together, Dean making Cas eat everything.

After breakfast, Cas looked at Dean very seriously. “Dean, when are you going home?”

Dean grinned and said, “Never. I’m staying with you. Where ever you go, I’m going. I love you and we’ve been apart too long.”

Cas’ lip quivered.  “Oh god, Dean. I love you so much.”

 

Dean asked Cas about the cutting. Cas looked ashamed. “Yeah, I started cutting again. I was in so much pain and I needed release.”

Dean said he wanted to see. Cas refused.

“Look, Cas, unless we’re never going to fuck again, I’m gonna see them sooner or later. I want you to show me now.”

Sighing, Cas pulled down the covers and pulled up his hospital gown. He spread he legs a little, showing Dean a lot of healing lines, some were already scarred. Then Dean pulled his gown up higher and saw cuts on Cas’ hips.

“Jesus, babe. This is bad. You’re never going to do this again, do you hear me?

Cas nodded and pulled his gown back down.

 


	13. Chapter 13

They stayed cuddled up in the bed. After a while, the guys showed up. Chuck and Crowley said warm hellos to Dean.

Chuck said, “Well, we talked to the doc. He says that since you have someone to stay with you (and here he winked at Dean), you should probably stay in a hotel here just to make sure everything is fine. Then in a week, you can fly back to the house. The tour is cancelled.”

Cas smiled. “Good, I’m not going on tour again for a long time.”

The guys hung around for a while. When they left, Cas and Dean made out for a bit and then went to sleep.

 

They alternated between sleeping and making out. Both of them were getting frustrated so they turned on the TV. Dean found some reruns of Dr. Sexy and they watched those, discussing who was the sexiest on the show.

Breakfast came for both of them and again, Dean made Cas eat.

Then the doctor rolled in and said he was discharging Cas. Cas was really excited. Gabe had made a reservation for them in a plush hotel in downtown Denver. Dean called a cab while Cas dressed. They insisted that Cas needed to go out in a wheel chair. A nurse wheeled him while Dean carried his luggage and Cas’ things. The cab was waiting.

When they got to the hotel, Dean checked them in. He got the key and they were accompanied to the honeymoon suite. Apparently, the guys had gotten a real kick out of arranging this room for them.

It was a beautiful room with a dining area and a huge bed. Cas flopped down on the bed and grinned at Dean.

“I need a shower, babe. I must stink bad.” Cas sighed and said he could come in with Dean, but Dean said no. He promised to be quick. He was fairly sure that Cas wasn’t up to full speed yet and he really didn’t want to wear him out.

Dean took a quick shower and came out to find Cas asleep. He grinned and climbed in bed with Cas.

 

Dean woke up hearing Cas whimpering. He was obviously having a bad dream. Dean kissed his forehead and called his name. Cas startled awake.

“You were having a bad dream.”

Cas looked scared. Dean pulled Cas on top of him and held him.

“Fuck,” Cas grumbled, “I hate been weak and needy. I’m your top for fucks sake and I’m supposed to be strong.”

Dean lifted Cas’ face. “That’s ridiculous. You are just a human and we all have low times and problems and things that scare us. It doesn’t matter if you’re a top or a bottom or Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger. You aren’t weak babe.”

Cas kissed him. He scooted up Dean’s body and began to kiss him hard. His tongue slipped into Dean’s mouth and took possession of it. Dean moaned. He had missed this with Cas so much.

Cas pushed Dean’s legs apart and settled himself between them. Their cocks rubbed against one another, causing both of them to groan.

“Fuck, I missed you so much Dean.”

Cas kissed along Dean’s throat, pausing to suck marks on him. Cas sat back on his thighs and kissed Dean’s chest, playing with his nipples. Dean was moaning and fisting the sheets. Cas ran his hands all over Dean’s chest while he kissed it. He sucked marks all over Dean, taking possession of his man.

He licked and kissed lower, over Dean’s belly and to his very needy cock. He sucked it into his mouth, Dean groaned loudly, and Cas took it down to the root. He held his mouth there for a few seconds, not moving and then came back up and off it. He licked over Dean’s balls and under them. Then he spread Dean even wider and looked at the tight little hole just waiting for him.

Cas put his mouth on it and licked. Dean was making obscene sounds that spurred Cas on. He licked and swirled his tongue around the entrance. Dean was desperately trying not to thrust his ass against Cas’ mouth. Cas then stuck just the tip of his tongue into Dean.

Cas aggressively tongued Dean’s ass, running his tongue over it, then into it, and he even rubbed his face over it. Dean was wild, pulling on the sheets so hard it was a wonder they didn’t tear. Cas just kept up the worship of Dean’s hole until Dean thought he’s just die on the spot.

Cas moved up and kissed Dean again, letting Dean taste himself. He had a handful of Dean’s hair in his fist as he took complete possession of Dean’s mouth.

Cas seemed to be everywhere at once. He was kissing Dean, then he was sucking on Dean’s cock and then he had his tongue up his ass. His hands alternated between roaming Dean’s body and slapping his ass. Dean was begging now.

Cas grabbed his own aching cock and rubbed it up and down over Dean’s anus, teasing them both. The he slipped just the head inside. He whispered in a low, growly voice, “I got tested. I’m clean.” Then he rammed into Dean.

Dean threw his head back and almost howled. It burned but he wanted it, craved it. Cas thrust in until he was a deep as he could go. He pulled Dean’s legs up and pushed himself over Dean, bending him in half and going as deep as was humanly possible. Dean thrust into every thrust Cas gave him. The sound of their bodies slapping together filled the room.

Dean was reduced it just a string of, “Oh, oh, oh, Cas, Cas, Cas…”

Cas was growling, “Yeah baby, take it all, take it deep, yeah Dean…”

They were both so close… so close that they were groaning in unison. Then Dean came, shooting his warm spurts of cum all over Cas and dripping it back on to his chest. Cas came too, and filled Dean with his seed. He felt every pulse and Dean did too.

Cas collapsed on Dean and they both just struggled for breath. Dean groaned out, “I love you.”

Cas said the same to Dean.

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

Their week in the hotel was awesome. They never left the room. They ordered room service and Dean made Cas eat. Cas was finally getting some color back and had even gained a pound or two. He had been so thin when Dean first saw him in the hospital he looked like a strong breeze could blow him right out the window.

Dean finally made the call home. First he called Bobby and told him he was quitting. Bobby took it better than Dean expected him to, which was a huge relief. Then he called his brother. That didn’t go quite as well, but Dean promised he’d be back in a few weeks to take care of everything. He also wanted Cas and Sam to meet. Sam promised to let his friends know.

Cas chewed his lip while Dean was talking to his brother. When Dean hung up, he turned to Cas and asked what was wrong.

Cas looked forlorn. “I’m taking you away from your friends and family.”

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas. “No, you’re not, I’m making the choice. And besides, I’m taking you there as soon as you’re better. I want you and my brother to get to know one another.”

Cas nodded. “I’d like that.”

 

They spent all their time fucking, eating and sleeping, basically. Cas was getting stronger every day. Then, he was cleared to go home to L.A. They flew back. In the airport, people kept stopping Cas for autographs until finally, Dean just growled at them, “That’s enough.” He grabbed Cas’ arm and got him out and to the limo.

“Apparently, dropping on stage and seizing is good for business.” Cas just looked at Dean, who frowned.

“Fucking ghouls.” Dean was irritated.

 

When they walked into the mansion, the guys and Josh were there to greet them. They both got hugs from everyone. Josh whispered in Dean’s ear how glad he was that Dean and Cas were back together.

They took their stuff to Cas’ room. Dean suggested that Cas lay down for a while but he said he only would if Dean would lay down with him. Dean pulled off his shoes and they spooned in the bed. Cas was asleep quickly. Dean just held him.

 

Cas woke up about an hour later and attacked Dean. They had wild sex and then cleaned up and went downstairs. He said he needed to talk to the guys.

 

 

When they were all in the living room, Cas told them that he wanted to take a couple of years off.

“I’m not quitting. I really need to make music with you guys. But I’m tired and I want to just kick back with Dean.”

The guys all nodded.

“Well, I’m up for a break. I hate all the traveling. So it’s fine with me.” Gabe grinned at them.

Both Crowley and Chuck agreed too. “After all, we just cut a CD. That ought to hold the fans for a while.”

 

It was agreed that they would keep the house and just let Josh take care of it. That way, it would be there for each of them when they wanted it.

Then Cas turned to Dean and said, “I want to go home with you.”

Dean hugged him, saying, “Are you sure?”

Cas told him he had never been more sure of anything in his life.

 

They made all the arrangements and were going to leave in two days. Dean called Sam and gave him the heads up. Dean was really excited for them to meet, and to get home. He just hoped it was good enough for Cas.

 

 

They arrived at the Lawrence airport. After they had their bags, Dean spotted Sam. They hugged a huge hug, and when they broke, Dean said, “Bitch.” Sam grinned and answered back, “Jerk.”

Cas just stared at them. First of all, Sam was a giant. He had to be at least six foot five. He was handsome and thin and had long hair. Cas smiled at the exchange.

Then Dean had his arms around Cas and was introducing him to Sam. Sam smiled big and gave him a bear hug. Cas was breathless and laughing by the time Sam let him go.

They walked out to where Dean’s car was parked. Cas was amazed by the Impala and the pristine condition it was in. Dean grinned and said, “Yeah, she’s my baby.”

They drove through Lawrence, with Cas looking out the window at the city. It was so different than anywhere he had ever lived.

And then they were at Dean’s home. Cas got out of the car and just took in the home and the yard. It was a two story place with a lot of gingerbread. It was painted a beautiful shade of blue with white trim. It had a big yard with grass, flowers and trees. Cas was entranced.

Inside, the living room was so homey and comfortable. There was a big couch in front of a big screen TV, comfy chairs, one had an afghan thrown over the back. The tables were all solid wood. There were family photos on the walls. Cas felt like crying, it was just so perfect.

Dean gave him a quick tour of the downstairs. There was a dining room with a big wooden table, and the kitchen had nice appliances. Not new, but usable and the entire room had a really nice feel to it. There was a small bathroom downstairs as well.

Cas followed Dean upstairs. There was a hall with four doors. The first door was Dean’s room, well, their room. It had a king size bed and bedside tables. There was an overstuffed chair and a window seat. But what amused Cas was the posters. They were all of him and the group.

Dean looked a little embarrassed. “Well, I told you I had a crush on you since forever.”

Cas laughed and hugged him.

Then Dean showed him the guest room and the very large bathroom. It had a standing tiled shower and a huge claw foot bathtub. Cas smiled and said, “Can’t wait to take a bath with you.” Dean kissed him and said, “That can be arranged soon.”

The last bedroom was Sam’s.

Cas thought it was perfect.

 


	15. Chapter 15

That night, after a particularly active sexual romp, they lay wrapped around one another.

Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head and said, “I want us to live here.”

Dean lifted his head off of Cas’ shoulder and looked at him, completely surprised.

“You do? Why? This is so different than you home in L.A. It’s got to be like camping out.”

Cas laughed. “And that’s exactly why I love it here. It is different. This is a home. Where I lived before was just a house. I’ve never actually had a home before.”

Dean frowned. “Never? What about when you were a kid?”

Cas sighed. “We lived in some very nasty apartments. Never had a house, let alone a home”

Dean kissed him, “Babe, that makes me so sad.”

Cas said, “Don’t be. The past is long gone. Now I have you and we have a home and that’s all that matters.”

 

They loved the big tub. They would stretch out, Dean laying between Cas’ legs, and leisurely jerk each other off, until their need got too great and they had to get out and fuck each other’s brains out.

The made love in every room of the house, and even out in the yard after midnight sometimes.

 

 

And so they lived in Lawrence. Cas puttered around the house. He started a very successful garden in the back yard, one he was very proud of. Dean was teaching him how to cook.

Cas was thriving. The townspeople tended to just treat him like anyone else.

There were some incidents with a few teens but in the end, even they calmed down.

Dean began to do some mechanic work in his driveway, but only occasionally and he only worked when he felt like it. Cas really got off on Dean all greasy and sweaty.

He got approached to do another tour and turned it down flat.

Sam moved out. He said he could hear them all night long and he needed to get his own place before his psyche was permanently scarred.

About a year later, Cas proposed. They were married at Christmas in a very small civil ceremony. There were some reporters but they were kept at bay.

They honeymooned in the south of France.

Cas gave up recording. The guys were fine with it. They all had more money than they could ever spend. Chuck got married and retired too, Gabe got a new band together and Crowley played drums in it.

They decided together to not have kids. Dean really just wanted Cas to himself and Cas was too concerned about what kind of a parent he would be, even though Dean assured him he would do great at it.

Eventually, Fallen Angel was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Cas looked awesome in his skin tight leather pants.

Their lives were filled with love and laughter and amazing sex.

They never left Lawrence. It was home to them.

 


End file.
